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July 2019


Dumpster dive through the various snippets of shit that fly between the synapses within my brain.


>> July <<




2019 07 31



I do love eBay.

I bought a small stack of magazines and this is the feedback someone left for me.


Deathstars - Damn Me

2019 07 24



Got some cool VHS tapes today.

There is still some faint voice in the depths of my mind telling me to buy old Manson shit. Demystifying the Devil is a tape I haven't got round to watching even though it's been on YouTube since 2012, so I'm somewhat looking forward to watching it.

The Drilling the Vein tapes look like they'll be a treat. They've got some killer tracklists.

Oh, that reminds me of an album I've seen making the rounds recently.

Now if that ain't the same font…

2019 07 23



After watching a Nintendogs speedrun this morning, I've been researching how to rip textures from and how to modify Nintendo DS files. It's all a bit confusing and it's gonna take me a lot longer than I thought to try anything cool out.

I did end up modding my save file so I could finally unlock the Outer Space interior. I didn't touch my trainer points though, those 87,000+ points were all hard-earned by yours truly.

For now, I introduce you to my new Siberian Husky who exists only within my DS emulator. He is yet unnamed, and will be the subject of many an experiment in the future.


Ministry - All Day Remix

2019 07 22



I'm gonna have to say it, 3TEETH are boring as fuck. I've listened to a few of their songs now as multiple people (including Raymond Watts) have suggested I listen to them. I mention industrial and people immediately bring up 3TEETH. If I wanted to listen to Powerman 5000 or Static-X, I would listen to them, and not a bootleg over-polished fusion of them.

Speaking of revivals no-one asked for, 'hardcore' music seems to be a big thing right now. I've tried listening to various songs by various bands as I have a few friends who are into that sort of music but sweet Jesus. I can't do it. It's metalcore all over again.

It reminds me of when I tried to force myself to like dogshit bands like Sleeping With Sirens because a girl I really admired back when I was in high school loved that stuff. She was near the end of her uni degree and I was in year 10 or something, and I thought she was the shit.

Now I'm in her position (albeit with a bonus sex-change under my belt) and my most listened-to genre at the minute is industrial — the equivalent of people fucking around with power tools and scrap metal. Maybe I'm just as bad.


Gary Numan - Metal

2019 07 21



I don't trust captchas. Like, the ones where it's like 'click all the square with the vehicles' and shit. There's something shady about them and I can't put my finger on it. It feels like a mass movement from Google to identify every square inch of Google Maps data that they have, for some nefarious motive I haven't pieced together yet.

2019 07 19



Filling in this entry retroactively, as it was my 21st and I was a fucking state. A mess. I had a 4 pack on the train, then some late-thirty-something grown ass men and me got chatting outside the venue, and I didn't have to spend a penny on booze that whole night. I was having drinks given to me, fed to me, constantly.

I was fucked up. Not in a "hey, look at me, I'm partying and posting it on Instagram" or whatever, like I was just fucked. Escorted from the venue bathroom (very kindly!) back to my hotel room covered in my own puke.

But, you know, the guys I was with called me a 'beautiful boy'. They were drunk too but I'll take it. They couldn't get over the fact that I had travelled the distance I had to see a band I only knew a few songs from, on me bill. I don't know what it is about doing things on your own that gets people. I'd love gig buddies more than anything, but it's been so many years and so many gigs that you just have to learn how to have fun and be fulfilled without needing another person's validation.

I don't know, there's something freeing about being slightly delirious, dressed in clothes I would not DARE wear around people I know for fear of getting the shit beaten out of me, not knowing where the fuck I am, and the fact that I will never see any of these people again. Hopefully.

Well, I had to email the venue the next day as I left my coat there, like halfway down the country. I'm tryna get them to post it back to me. Once I get that situation over, then we'll close this little chapter.

2019 07 15



This year is the 20th anniversary of one of the greatest science fiction films of all time.

That's right!

I'm chatting shit. Could you imagine? That film was dogshit.

It's 20 years since The Matrix was released. I love that movie so much. I can see you rolling your eyes.

Huh, a guy with his own bootleg flash website that no one reads. A guy with a fear of modern technology and who's constantly paranoid about being spied on by all these new 'smart' devices. Of course he likes The Matrix. What a surprise.

Yes, bitch. I can't refute a single one of those sentences. I'm a simple man. I like sci-fi films, a good soundtrack, and some PVC. Sue me.

I went to go see a 4K restoration of this movie at the pictures -- a class little cinema at that. Up its arse but I could appreciate the aesthetics and the sofas in the viewing rooms. I didn't buy anything there because it was like £12 for a hotdog or whatever, so fuck that. I took my sister to see it with me as she's never seen it before. She got me to paint her nails black and green to fit the occassion.

I also never want to see another 4K restoration of any older movie EVER. AGAIN. I saw EVERY gotdamn pore on everyone's face. Shit was TOO crystal clear. As handsome of a man as Laurence Fishburne is, I do not particularly wish to see each of his acne scars in vivid detail. This was film was far more enjoyable watching it for the first time on a shitty CRT TV. Maybe it adds to the experience, or maybe I enjoyed it more because I was 12.

I'm reminded of GTA V. I loved that game, and I still do. I find the graphics very unnerving though. Shit is too realistic-looking when it doesn't need to be.

2019 07 14


Digging out my VCR player

Got my grubby little hands on these two gems today.

Two bangers. Not much else to say. Got them for dirt cheap too.


Gravity Kills - Enough

2019 07 13



I took apart my new bullet belt. I watched a video of a guy cleaning some brass cartridges in his garage and felt inspired.

I had to delve into the Southern-US-gun-loving-blokes-in-baseball-caps realm of YouTube to find these videos. I don't own a gun, and as I'm in the UK it's unlikely I'll ever own one unless I shift to another country, but I greatly appreciate gun YouTube for all the tutorials they put up for cleaning metals on the cheap.

Anyway, I sat looking at these bullets and had to ask myself if I really wanted to clean them. They look grim and weathered right now, but I feel like wearing crystal-clear brass bullets will just make me look like a knob.

Looks like it's time to reassemble this bullshit now.


Alien Ant Farm - Movies

2019 07 11



One of my favourite songs is Body by Randolph & Mortimer.

(Nah, not these guys.)

A music duo from Sheffield, I first heard them when they opened for <PIG> last month. Some of their songs were just pure hypnotic. Really fucking great band.

Anyway, there's a distinct line "I DO NOT NEED MY BODY" that was sampled from somewhere, and it was said with such conviction and vigour that I've been mulling that phrase and its implications in my mind since then. I want it tattooed on the back of my neck.

Well, after much digging, I found where the sample was from. The quote being:

If somebody would, by some sort of quirk or situation, take this body– and I proved to you last Sunday, I don’t need it. I proved to you conclusively last Sunday, I took a young man from the offertory room. He didn’t know what was coming off. I took him up and I stood him there, and I said, I can show you, I do not need my body.

You know who said this? Jim Jones. Yeah, the Jonestown guy. Kinda second-guessing the whole tattoo thing (but not really).


Front 242 - Take One

2019 07 07



I modded my 3DS a few days ago. I've never done any kind of console modding before so this was new ground. It was stupid easy to do which is a bit annoying because it means I could have done this years ago.

I am trying to revive my interest in Animal Crossing: New Leaf. Now, I have dabbled in this game before.

I had plans for a fucking sexy town. The place would be derelict and industrial like a city left to go to shit. I had so many good plans and I had my villagers picked out too. A while back, I was cycling my villagers to get Ruby to move in, but in the process I got a bit hasty and lost Ankha. That pissed me off (especially after plot resetting so gotdamn much for her house) that I just lost interest and put the game down for a while. I just couldn't be arsed with it anymore.

Now, I'm editing my save file so I can re-route my river, line up my existing villagers' houses the way I want them, unlock all the PWPs and place whatever I want, wherever I want. I mean, check this out:

Just having everyone lined up is so satisfying. Just need to pull in a villager from the campsite so I can replace them with the last villager I have planned to move in.

This reminds me of the Sims 3, and how I'd spent forever downloading mods and textures, and building the perfect sims and buildings, but never actually play the game. I just like designing shit, what can I say.

As for New Leaf town progress, I'm not sure where to stick it. I could just leave updates festering here in the System Logs, or I might try and create a gaming hub on here and merge the Playstation Plaza and Kamurocho Hills into it. Turn this little web village into a sprawling metropolis.

I have an idea for this, actually. I'm currently playing Marc Ecko's Getting Up: Contents Under Pressure. The loading screens are based on what I imagine is the New York subway. The artwork was done by Dan Mycka.

This layout is gorgeous, and functional. Looks like some site reconstruction is necessary!

(What did I tell you about me putting more effort into design than actual content? Jesus.)

2019 07 05



Due to unforeseen circumstances, I am going to be in Texas.

I'm messing, I'm actually really looking forward to it. I'll be meeting up and staying with a couple of friends while I am there. As someone from the north who is largely heat-intolerant, I may die, but I think it will be worth it.

We're dubbing this expedition cowboy goth, like when Jason Charles Miller put Godhead on the back burner and went country.

2019 07 03



I am going to be visiting America! Specifically New York City. I've never left Europe before, nevermind gone over to the States. One of my relatives is living over there so we'll be going to see her.

It was pretty last minute considering we're going in like, a month, but I have to say that I am very much looking forward to it. Can't wait to experience flying as a transgender man. Should be an absolute treat.