2019 05 23
Invest in a sewing machine/hot glue gun, STAT
I've just had the million dollar idea of having Juicy Couture-like pants, but instead of
'JUICY' on the arse, it says 'POWERED BY SUPER EUROBEAT'.
I'm about to spearhead the Juicy Couture tracksuit revival. Watch this space.
2019 05 22
I feel like my entire software development 'career' thus far can be summarised
by these two pictures.
As if I spent a solid 2 hours trying to debug a SQL stored procedure, only to find out
that the reason it was occasionally failing was NOT a concurrency issue like I thought
it was. You know what the core issue was? A missing DISTINCT.
I'm still pissed about it.
2019 05 21
Start a one-man riot in the nearest Costco
We're a year late on this. I'm keeping track and I'm not happy.
2019 05 20
Annihilate a drunken salaryman
Scored this little beauty. Shipping + customs cost about the same as the shirt itself
but this was a scoop I couldn't pass up. It's probably from around 1999, as that's
when 双生児-GEMINI- was released.
This shirt also looks and smells like it's been in an attic for 20 years, which adds to my
theory. Thinking I might give it a little wash before I wear it.
In what is possibly the most ambitious crossover event in history, this shirt immediately
made me think of Angelina Jolie's cross tattoo.
2019 05 19
Be the sexiest bitch in Pleasantview
A 12GB torrent just finished for The Sims 2 with all of its expansion packs. I played the PS2 version
tonnes when I was younger, but never gave the PC version a whirl. I have sunk many, many hours into
The Sims 3 but I'm looking for something a little different.
My only experience with The Sims 2 is seeing
a music video someone made in it for Godhead's cover
of Eleanor Rigby (which is mint, if I can add).
2019 05 18
I'm wrestling hard with myself to not tear down this site and rebuild it from the ground up. My good
friend Human Raccoon talked me out that shit last night.
I think I need to work on taming my impulsive streak a bit. It worked out alright when I binned most
of my social media and email accounts in one hit, or when I changed my legal name, but I feel like it'll
bite me in the arse one day.
After spending some time (5 minutes) thinking on it, I think I've got a good idea of how I want things
to look. I only need to run 200+ photos through Photoshop.
2019 05 16
Nothing quite comes close to the dungeon synthpop shaman shit Mortiis had going on back in
2001. People shit themselves over his Era I stuff and constantly decry his Era III/0 work as
being 'crap' (which it's not... I'm just saying).
But little do people speak of Era II! The Smell of Rain. An absolutely glorious album. The comments
on Era II songs are usually "where's my dungeon music" or "this is embarrassing" but the truth of
the matter is that people can't appreciate campy witch doctor music when they hear it, and that's the bottom line.
2019 05 15
Plant the Da Vinci virus on a client
At work, one of our most annoying clients raised a case because they found an issue on
one of their pages, which is fair enough. I'll let them off, I guess.
When investigating this, this page ended up using really old
code that got fucked up because it relied on pages even older that were deprecated years ago.
After some hacking around on my dev site I managed to come up with a crappy fix that would resolve
the issue, but would never be something we'd put into master code. Time to jump onto the client's site.
It took me an hour on the phone with helpdesk to hotfix them properly after their case had been sitting
in the backlog for a bit, but eventually it's finished and working.
The client's response which got fed back through customer care?
"It's fixed [name]. It only took you this long to fix a simple UI issue. Pat yourselves on the back for a job
Oh aye. Fixing the code in one page and checking another 20+ pages to make sure shit
was in sync. A simple UI issue. Suck my dick. I fucking hate clients. Immensely.
2019 05 13
Book a hotel on company time
Most people do something really special for their 21st birthday. A lot of people I know
had large parties, or they got a car, or they got engaged (don't fucking ask).
I had no concrete plans for mine until I found out that God Module are doing a few UK shows
in July, with one of them falling on my birthday.
I thought I'd treat myself by actually booking a hotel room for me to crash in after the show
rather than staying in a hostel (or a train station) for the night. Okay, maybe it's not the
most luxurious 21st anyone's ever heard of, but I'm looking forward to it nonetheless. It's not
like anyone I know would want to do anything for my 21st so I'm gonna go out and do fun shit by
2019 05 09
I've never listened to Panic! At the Disco in my whole life, up until now. Someone from work
gave me a lift and the entire journey he was just playing that band. I don't see the hype.
This shit is insufferable. The wee screen in his car showed the song, artist, and album and
there were a range of albums being played, so it's not just the one-off shit album.
Now, I may have had a very intense Marilyn Manson phase from the ages of 10 til 15, but I can
safely say I managed to skip the emo phase. Jesus, man.
2019 05 05
Go deliver some tofu
Choosing my favourite album from Front 242 is difficult, but I think I'm going to have to
go with this one: