The (MK) Ultra Line

Publish date: Sat, Jul 18, 2020
Last updated: Sun, Oct 18, 2020


Blue

Tastes like Ultra, but mixed with blue raspberry flavour and not too sweet. This ain’t bad! B tier.

Black

Okay, this one pissed me off. This is my favourite Monster flavour to date. Ever!!!! I’m pissed that it only seems to be limited edition. A crisp cherry flavour. Refreshing. Stunning. Amazing. It’s just so good. I remember grabbing a can of this for the first time from the shop in the train station, with that trip to said train station being my first outing post-surgery earlier this year. I’d never seen that flavour before so I thought I’d take the plunge and try it. My god. I should’ve stocked up when I had the chance. S tier.

Sunrise

Erm… this just tastes like Fanta?

I didn’t really make notes when drinking this because I could’ve sworn I’d already reviewed it because the flavour was so familiar. Turns out I was thinking of Khaos. This drink fulfils the assignment. B tier.

Standard

I honestly used to drink this religiously. For the first couple years of my undergrad I was having at least a can a day. I thought it was God’s nectar.

I remember thinking one night in my old place I’d posh it up and drink a can out of a lowball glass with some ice cubes. Monster on the rocks. I took a sip and nearly vomited. It was fucking vile. Did I get a naff can or something? God knows. From that point on even the smell of this drink makes me gag. I can’t drink it. E tier.

Violet

This? What the actual fuck is this. I think it’s supposed to be grape flavoured?? I could barely finish the can. Absolutely grim. F tier.

Citron

This is cute! It’s like a less enjoyable lemonade. Smells like cream cleaner. Is that a positive? C tier.

Paradise

This smells a bit funky but the taste is excellent. A stunning tropical flavour. I can neck a can in one sitting with next to no effort, and the shade of green of the can is pretty too. A tier.

Red

This tastes like raspberry milkshake. Yop springs to mind. Does anyone remember that? Is that even still in production?

I also just noticed when reading the can that this has carmine in it… so this drink isn’t even vegetarian. Fuck’s sake. They run out of beetroot colouring or something? C tier.

Rosa

This tastes like flowers and grapefruit, sort of. It’s really nice but flavours just keep blending together for me. B tier.

Fiesta

More tropical… kind of tastes like bog standard Ultra… it has more mango I guess… this is boring now. B tier, as it’s actually a very pleasant drink, but most of these Monster flavours just start tasting the same to me.