Monster Energy

Publish date: Sat, Jul 18, 2020
Last updated: Sun, Aug 9, 2020


I’m trying to cut out energy drinks from my life… kinda. Sorta. Not really. Up until maybe a few months ago, I used to have at least a can a day, and I did this for years. It doesn’t really seem like that much, but I’m trying to be at least a bit healthier so energy drinks seem to be the first on the chopping block.

… But, I have this unquenchable thirst (HAAAA!!!! I’m a literary genius) to try as many Monster flavours as I can get my hands on. Why? Don’t know. Call it corporate bootlicking, brand worship, the unwritten twelfth principle type of liberalism as written by Comrade Mao in 1937.

If you disagree with any of my drink opinions then you can send me an email where you will be promptly blocked, reported for harassment, and my lawyer will be contacted.

Hate reading? View the ever-updating tier list here.

  • S - excellence in beverage creation
  • A - pretty damn good!
  • B - fulfils the assignment of being a pleasant drinking experience
  • C - fine… I guess
  • D - undrinkable by itself but palatable when mixing
  • E - would only drink if I was getting paid to do so
  • F - unfit for human consumption

Pages in this section